This year has been a blur for me (especially second half of
the year). Day in and out just feel like I am just surviving. Recently I even
feel like I am a “dead” person because…
1.
I don’t feel like going to work
2.
I don’t feel like working
3.
I don’t feel like waking up in the morning to
deal with the kids
4.
I sometimes don’t even feel like eating because
of lack of appetite. I stuff myself with junk food to increase my appetite
5.
I look forward to leave my office but I don’t feel
like fetching the kids from school
6.
I don’t feel like eating my dinner. Instead, I
just feel like going into my bedroom and just lie on bed till I am hungry. Eat,
bath, TV, sleep…
7.
I don’t feel like playing with the kids
8.
I don’t want to bath them. I just want to say
good night to them and retire myself into my room…my quiet room
Doesn’t this sound like a “dead” person is living inside me?
I do try to enjoy my moments during the day but it is like
the evil inside of me wins every single time and brings these feelings in me.
I won’t give up but I do hope I find an epiphany soon..before
I turn fully dead inside. Perhaps I am just tired. Perhaps I need a huge
change. I hope to find the solution soon.
