Before I start my story, I would like to explain that the company I work for now is the same company I worked for almost 4 years since graduate. I left the company to seek a job more suitable to my personality. However 5months ago, I came back. It was only for one major reason..to be nearer to my baby. One thing I liked about this company was the friends I made here comparatively to my second company.

I had a very rough past couple of weeks at work and it took a toll few days ago. It made me burst into tears two days straight..alone, in the office and even in front of the client’s representative.

Firstly, let me explain a little on my line of work. I am an engineer consultant and I help the client to prepare drawings, documents, forms and reports for the submission to authorities for approval on their project

It is of course normal for client to rush us for results (as in any other kind of work) as the faster it is done, the faster they will receive their $$$ from the sales of their project. I have worked for many clients before and some can really push us to the maximum. I always tried to accommodate them the best that I can.

However this time, this client does not just push us to the max..it is pushing us to a point that the time given is actually impossible.

But what that hurt me more was that I did not feel any proper back up from my management when all of this was going on. This really got to me and that was when I burst.

The story as below:

Assuming client’s boss to be the WOMAN, her assistance to be “A” and the architect to be “B”.

Clients changing their details in their project are a normal thing. As consultants we have to amend and change everything when this happens. For this particular project, we have informed them that we will need 5weeks from the day they confirmed their details with us to do the submission to the authority following the proper procedure. They actually expected us to keep the previous deadline based on the old details. Hence they gave us a week. I ask you, how to finish a 5 weeks job within a week? My job also involves external parties and even if I finished my part, there are other factors to take into account. Truthfully, if my bosses took away all my other projects to concentrate on this particular one, I would need a minimum of perhaps 2.5weeks? One week is IMPOSSIBLE.

Hence, my superior and I met up with our boss who is in charge of this project to explain the situation. We worked out the minimum time we need to finish our work for the client and he said he will tell the client in the meeting. Next thing I know, my superior came to me and said the client wants it by tomorrow. WTH?Since there is nothing I can do, I just tried my best but knowing it cannot be done. Hence, my drawings are incomplete and do not follow the instructions by the authority (from my previous discussion with the authority). The proper procedure was when I finished my drawings, I am supposed to meet up with the authority for their pre-checking and they will fill in a checklist. If there are major amendments, I have to redo the whole process and the authority will fill in the checklist again. This will go on till the authority is happy with our drawings and therefore will issue out an official checklist to us for our onward submission to the One Stop Centre. (Note: This was one reason why we stated 5 weeks’ time frame)

When “A” came to the office to collect my documents and drawings, I explained to him the consequences of doing this in a rush manner. There is also a high possibility the One Stop Centre will not accept the submission because we did not follow the proper procedure. “A” was surprised and he requested me to be at the One Stop Centre with him, his boss and the architect. I said alright and told him I will just keep my mouth shut about not having the proper documents and hope that person is blind enough and accept our submission. Told him I will let him do all the talking unless something technical comes up. He agreed.

Of course the personnel at the One Stop Centre is not blind when checking through our documents. They asked for the checklist from the authority. That WOMAN, “A” and “B” stared at me. The personnel continued to scold me and said “Aren’t you aware of the checklist? This is the procedure you have to follow? You don’t know meh?”. Imagine how I felt and none of them helped me to reply them. So I calmed myself down and said “Yes, I am aware but it is not available yet. However, I did a pre-discussion with the authority already”. That personnel continued to scold me. This was my first embarrassing moment of the day. So I kept quiet and just say I understood. During this moment “B” asked me “First of all, were you aware of this?”. I said “Yes. I am well aware. This was why I told you all I need a certain time frame. But you are asking me to do a 5 weeks work in one week. How can I when there is so many other procedures to follow?” The WOMAN then spoke out “First of all, you are all aware of our programme and we expect you to follow it”. I then replied “That was before the big change in your layout. Before you gave us the new layout, we have informed you the new deadline and even “B” was aware of this”. The WOMAN kept insisting that we have to follow their original programme.

I was feeling the rage then and I was so angry because in the first place, they are aware of the situation before we went there. And now that it is rejected, they put the blame on me. WTH? Then the WOMAN said “Why don’t you go now with “A” to that authority and get it all done and me and “B” will wait here for you”. I explained that first of all, we need to make an appointment with this authority. Second, my drawings did not incorporate most of her (the authority) comments in my pre-discussion with her due to the time limit given to me by the WOMAN. Then again the WOMAN started blaming me etc. So I had it, I looked at her and said “We have informed you on the time frame needed for this submission but NO, YOU insisted we come and do it today? And you expect it to go well?”. As I was saying this, tears flowed out a little. I knew if I stayed on, a bigger fight will occur..so I took all my documents and drawings and stormed out of the room. As I was storming out, I said without looking at them “Since you want me to do it, I will go and meet up with the authority now”. That was when I heard her saying to the rest “Well, that was unprofessional of her!”. I admit, it was unprofessional of me. But what does she expect from me? I did my best for her and this is what I get? I was also unprofessional because I submitted my drawings and documents knowing they were incomplete, knowing that it would be rejected!

Anyway, “A” followed me to see the authority without any proper appointment. The authority was nice enough to see us after we persuaded her. She actually took her lunch time to deal with us as she just came back from a meeting. During the checking, I got scolded a lot for not following her instructions from our pre-discussion. This was my second embarrassing moment of the day. After a period of time with me and “A” only she realised that I made all this incomplete work because I was rushed by the client. She looked at “A” and said “Tell your boss not to rush the consultant. What is the use of rushing them when they need to do so many amendments and they give me incomplete work? It is actually normal for me to meet with the consultant 2-3times before the final checklist is out. Give them this time to do it. Do you prefer that they submit in these incomplete work and you have to wait for a month before I reply that the consultant did not comply and you have to go through the whole process again or do you prefer that you give them a little more time to complete according to my discussion with them and get it approved in a month? And this does not only effect the approval, you as the client have to pay up the processing fee each time the consultant resubmits their submission. Do you really want this to happen?”

I was so thankful to this authority for helping me voice it out. However, I wished that the WOMAN was here to hear all of this because “A” will only take it all in and will not “fight” with his boss about this. When I went back to office and gave this authority a call to make an appointment with her, she actually told me how she was really unhappy with our behaviour for barging in her office like that and stated how rude “A” was for going into her office few times and tried to catch her even when she was busy.

Conclusion was I was humiliated for something I should not deserve to be blamed on and this really affected me emotionally.

The above will not happen if the management back me up on my request in the first place and did not agree on the WOMAN’s unreasonable requests. This is only one of the many submissions in future. So if we say YES now, she will always expect us to do the same for the rest.

What makes it frustrating and sad was that there was not back up from my management in the first place.

Anyway, I will not stay long in this company and that is something I can look forward to. I will never ever look back again when I leave this time.

For the past few weeks, I have been having the same type of conversation with my senior colleagues. We realised that lots of graduates nowadays are quite different from their time (and even my time....which makes me feel old..haha). The graduates nowadays seems to be quite picky in their career choices mostly based on salary and not the sake of gaining knowledge for better advancement in the future. They would prefer to go into big corporate firms or company that can pay the most rather than think about how it would help them later.

Take civil engineering as an example. As mentioned by a very senior engineer today, being in the construction engineering line pays more than being a consultant engineer. But graduates never think that the knowledge they would gain in the consultant line in the beginning of their career will make their job in future much easier even if they jump to another line of work (contractor or developer). This senior has many years of experience and worked with many contractors and developers before, but very rare he will get someone who knows the "design engineering" world which will make things much easier for everyone to understand.

Another difference with some fresh graduates today is that they "want it all". They want a nice car, they want their own place (rented of course) and they want to shop and dine like they have all the money in the world. I still recall how I started my first few years of work. I rented a small little bedroom which only fits my mattress and my fabric cupboard. And then I moved on the a bigger room but stayed with my husband (my then boyfriend). We gradually then rent a small apartment and just two years ago, we moved in to our home.

I recalled "complaining" about my salary maybe after about 3 years of working at my first job. But now I hear graduates complaining about their salary in less than a year to a year of working.

You can call me a jealous person, but all I can say now is time has changed.

This article was out in todays' main papers here in Malaysia. The below is an extract from The Star newspaper.


I have been meaning to write on something like this, mainly due to the fact that I need HELP! I know the above article is about sugar intake. I think my sugar intake is fine. My opinion on this is that the drinks made outside are too sweet plus Malaysians love to make all those local desserts which uses too much sugar! Anyway, this is not what I wanted to talk about.

I think it all started when I was pregnant and now even after my baby is 4 months, I feel that I am so easily tempted with....FAST FOOD! I am not sure why but it may be for the convenience (annoying to think what to eat for dinner and fast food restaurants are EVERYWHERE!. Drive-thru and delivery services makes it so convenient especially when I am stuck in a jam. Fast food to me is not over the top delicious but I do get excited thinking about wedges, sundaes, and Zinger burger and Spicy McChicken and...OMG, it is a long list.

I need to stop myself now..but how? How to stop this hazardous temptation? The temptation to just drive-thru a fast food chain or the temptation to taste their food? It takes great effort from me just to pass a fast food place without stopping by especially after work. Help me!

(In my labels, I had to choose both "likes" and "dislikes". I like to eat fast food but dislike that I am so tempted by it and how it is so unhealthy)

I was on my way to work, listening to the radio (FlyFM) and one of the topic for this morning was "In your life, what thing did you do that was a risk worth taking?". As I listened to the callers stories, it brought back memories of something I did just last year, around the same time as this year which I think was worth the risk.

Ready? I went for an interview/audition to be a DJ on FlyFM! Surprised? I surprised myself too for making such a bold move. I have never/ very rare have the guts to make such decision. Most of the time it will be all talk and no action. It was nearing my wedding dinner and I have all the excuse for being very busy, needing to spend time with my family and also preparing for the wedding. However, I made my stand and just went for it.

Obviously, I did not get the job..haha. I did not even reach the top 5 (if not mistaken they chose about 4 - 5 to test them further). Many people turned up for this (young and old). I will be lying if I told you that for not one moment, I never thought of just leaving the place before my number was called. But I knew at that moment, if I were to chicken out from it, I would be left wondering for life on the "What if...?"

It was not surprising that I was a nervous wreck during the audition. Jules and Phat Fabes was there with the other FlyFM crew members. It was actually a very comfortable audition, but well, my nerves got the better of me. Phat Fabes was trying to get me to smile when reading the script given as I smiled a lot when I was just "chatting" with them before the script reading was done. How to smile when you are soooo nervous?? Hahaha.

Anyway, I think this experience is one that I will always remember and it was worth all the risk.

I turn the big "3-0" today. Personally, it is not really a big deal but I still recall how I perceived being 30 as being so old when I was in my teenage years. So today, I get to experience it myself and I do not feel as old as I thought I would feel. Minus the being-tired- all the time, body aches, slow metabolism & low stamina, I think I still feel young (errr..if that makes any sense at all)

Anyway, I am happy how my life turned out so far especially now that I have my little baby boy with me and knowing what a loving husband and family I have. I am in a great position!

So all to the 30s' out there, yell "Hell ya' I am 30 and I am proud of it!!".

So is 30 is the new 20??? I doubt so, but at times I do feel like I am in my teens and it feels great!

It has been so long I had cough. I never liked the cough syrup given by the doctor and tried to avoid at all cost on taking it. So when I know my cough is just starting, I will tell the doctor that I had no cough. Normally, while recovering from my other sickness (sorethroat, flu, headache, etc) my cough will go away with plenty of water. This time I am not that lucky as cough was the main symptom of my sickness.

It is now 2.00am. I went to bed at 11.30pm. I could not sleep.

It all started about a week ago (Wednesday). I had sorethroat and cough. Went to see the doc and took his medicine diligently. I had medical leave on Wednesday and had Thursday to rest too because it was a public holiday. Went back to work on Friday not fully recovered. As the office was cold (even when I had my jacket on), my cough got worse. Went to see the doctor again on Saturday and had three days to rest. For two nights I could not sleep much as I was mainly coughing my lungs out at night (till one point I vomited). Nevertheless I got a little better, enough for me to go back to work today (have to..do not want to get fired…haha). That morning when I woke up from my measly few hours of sleep, whaddaya know, I woke up with a red eye (not extremely red but had the symptoms of conjunctivitis). I went to work anyway. My cough medication finished the day before (after 6days).

Tonight, I was coughing rather badly and while lying on the bed trying to get some shut eye, my red eye symptoms got worse. Fluid and shit was flowing out of the eye every few seconds. My vision on my left red eye blurred out. My cough did not seem to help me get my shut eye. And hence, here I am…getting frustrated and wondering when will all these end. I have tried doctors’ medication + gargling with salt water and Listerine + dosage of Pei Pa Ko + drinking herbal drink + drinking honey + drinking ginger water..nothing works. I can’t be getting no sleep at night and go to work in the morning. I can’t take medical leave everyday or I may just get fired. WTH!!! Sigh…

So now I am trying to get myself very tired and try to get some sleep on the sofa. Hope I can get at least a few hours of sleep tonight…wish me luck.

It has been a hectic few weeks of August for me. As I mentioned in my earlier post, I was involved in an accident. It was really 100% my fault and till now I could not explain in detail what really happened on that day.

The accident happened in KL town at about 6.30pm. I was heading back home from a meeting in KL. My mood was definitely down earlier that day but it picked up later that evening. So I cannot put the blame on my mood. Normally while driving back from work (stuck in the jam), I tend to feel very sleepy and sometimes even find it hard to open my eyes. However, on that day I was feeling alright. Hence, I cannot put the blame on my sleepiness. At times I play with my handphone (which I know is not good) to keep myself awake or not too bored in the car. But on that day, I never touched my phone while travelling home. Therefore, I cannot put the blame on myself on the excuse that I was playing with my HP. So, everything seems perfect for a day back from work…and yet the accident happened! I guess some things cannot be avoided.

All I can tell people is that I was stuck in a bumper to bumper jam on the way back from KL town. The car in front of me moved forward and I did too. But my guess is (for whatever reason), I pressed the accelerator too hard that made my car moved forward too fast and hence, I could no break on time. BANG!! The poor driver in front of me was indeed shocked.

Well, I have fixed my car already and I am definitely poorer now…haha. I have already compensated the driver in front of me. But the bad luck just keeps on coming. While my car was in the workshop, the foremen noticed that my petrol was leaking from the tank (this has nothing to do with the accident). Sigh…so now my car is in the NAZA workshop for “check up”. Well, one positive thing is that my car still has two more months of warranty under NAZA. So hopefully they will do everything for free. Cross your fingers for me.

This was how my car looked like after the accident


And..this was how the car in front of me looked like after the accident..haha..(FYI, car in front of me was a WAJA)

This was one of the conversation I had with AK while I was stuck in the jam driving AK to the LRT station.

Me: (thinking about the jam, the work I am heading to, the financial setback, future, etc while grumbling about the jam and cursing at those KL people driving like it is their grandfather's road) Life does not have to be this way
AK: Other people is doing it and has no problem with it.
Me: Well, other people is just accepting it, does not mean they enjoy it.
AK: Then why can't you accept it?
Me: Because I feel life should not be this way.
AK: Then what can you do?
Me: If life is as what it is now, then I rather kill myself. Relieve myself from such life.
AK: Why must you say such thing?
Me: (Knowing I am wrong to say such thing but do not want to admit it) Ya la. Not true meh? Better I just disappear and then no need to go through all these feelings.
AK: (getting angry) Go find a new job then
Me: (lazy and unsure of my feelings but I feel that it is not the only reason) It is not that simple. Sigh.

I guess these "emotions" had something to do with the crazy week I had. Met an accident on the way back from KL town (another post will be posted on this incident), had a slight trauma after that, dealing with fixing the car, dealing with financial problem, etc. Bloody hell, I hate feeling this way. Maybe I am just being a baby.

Photo by http://sharondrewmorgen.com/

As I was driving home from work, which took me 1.5 hours through the jam today , I seriously thought about this. What are the advantages if I could work from home?

1. No JAM means less stress
2. Save on petrol and toll
3. Save on car maintenance
4. Less hazardous – sometimes I am tempted to doze off when I am tired
5. Better health – physically and mentally
6. More time with family
7. More comfort
8. It can be more effective
9. Rest when needed – less MC
10. No worries on being late for work – I was late an hour yesterday because of the rain
11. Maximization of time for other “important” things like exercise etc

I am sure there are many more reasons I thought of when I was driving..but I am just too tired out now to even re-think those reasons.

Sigh..I just wish one day (when I am still alive), companies in Malaysia will implement this. Perhaps work from home 3 out of 5 working days and come in to the office for the rest of the working days. This way, you also would not lose touch with the “outside world”.

What is life when you spend most of your life in this misery? Why want to get married when 5 out of 7 days you are just tired together? Why have children when you cannot spend time watching them grow? Why have homes when you aren’t maximizing your time in it? Why buy that comfortable sofa when all you need is your bed?

Finally our photoshoot day arrived. Perhaps I was too tired from everything that happened on Monday that when I woke up for my photoshoot day yesterday, I had not much of excitement in me. I was too busy thinking what were things that I forgot to pack for the photoshoot. I was also still wondering if there was a glimmer of hope that DJ would be able to join us in the shoot (ended up he could not).

Anyway, the photoshoot started with some make-over for AK and I..mostly for me..haha. It took more than an hour for me to get ready for the photoshoot but just about 20mins for AK. We spent about an hour to finish up with the indoor shoot and started getting ready for our outdoor photos. It was hilarious when we just started shooting as AK and I could not keep a straight smiling face while the photographer guided us through. Keep Gallery is well known for their outdoor shooting so we did not expect much from the indoor ones.

The journey to PD was tiring but once we reached there and started posing (jumping, walking, climbing branches, lying on the sand, etc), it started to get really exciting. Our first experience on the beach was terrible because the sand was SO hot and there were a few “time-bomb-plants” there that got stuck on my dress and cut my toes..OUCH. We went to a few locations in PD and had a great time :).
Overall, it was a great experience. I like our photographer Eugene and my MUA Crystal very much..not forgetting Joey, the assistant to the photographer was good too.

Actually, my hubby warned me early in the day not to get too stressed up during the shoot and start showing tantrums during the event. Told me to just enjoy myself and stop with my WORRYING..hahaha. Well, I am proud to say that throughout the whole day of shooting, I was patient, obedient and just enjoying the moments. I am sure you are proud of me, hubby!
Follow up photos to come soon……cross your fingers.

YES!! It finally arrived
Front Cover

Back Cover

And...the DVD itself!!



Russell Peters!!! You are one heck of a funny man!

AK and I fell in love with Russell Peters like we fell in love with the Edamame :P (http://lyssapathoflife.blogspot.com/2010/06/where-can-i-find-this.html). I have to thank Steven (friend) who introduced me to him. Russell Peters is so far one of the funniest comedian in the world. For the record, I do not watch many stand-up comedies. Hence, please forgive me if you do not think so (introduce me to one if you have someone better..hehe). Well, even if he is not the BEST, at least he is AMAZINGLY HILARIOUS!! I introduced him to a few of my friends and they just loveeeeeee him :).

Since he is a Canadian-Indian, his best jokes are on the Indians. Other than that, his jokes revolve a lot around Asians, Arabs, Jews, cultures, sex, etc. I am sure you would know by now that he will NEVER be allowed to perform in Malaysia. I was excited and sad at the same time when my friend Anu (I introduced RP to her a few months back) told me she will have the opportunity to watch him in Australia. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…..why not me??? But well, she did help me buy one of his shows on DVD and I was so excited when the package arrived.

AK and I did not waste a single minute to start watching it. It was great just laughing our asses off at home watching him for two days in a row :)

To those who have not heard of Russell Peters, go watch some of his clips on You Tube. Unless you are one of those who are sensitive to jokes, you will surely enjoy his show.

This is something no wife would like to admit…that her family eats catering food at home. If you do not agree then I guess it is my personal opinion. First of all, I actually do like cooking for my husband. I actually miss cooking a lot and I have always wanted to do some baking like I did when I was in secondary school.

Time does not permit me to cook anymore (after my change of job and also taking care of DJ). We are out on weekends hence not much of cooking can be done. So with a heavy heart, I suggested to my hubby in ordering catered food for our dinner. It would be better than eating whatever “rubbish” we have at home which is unhealthy.
I found this home caterer online and was not too sure how good they were. I recalled during the days I had catered food when I was still schooling, I did not fancy much of their food and they were quite oily too. This home caterer assured me that their food uses less oil and salt and that the food they provide us is the same food he provides his own family.

I must say 80% of the time the food came with less oil and salt :) …not bad. Below are some photos of the catered food.

Have you ever experienced a BLANK moment? I am actually in a situation where these questions occasionally pop out:-

“What have I done today? What have I done for the past week? What have I done for the past month?”…and the ultimate…

“What is life?”

Everything for me now is a bit of a blur. At times I cannot even recall what happened or what I ate yesterday. Everything seems too much like a timetable to me or a little too fake. Hmmm…am thinking of how to spice my life up now.

Photo courtesy of www.21cartoondrawings.com

For the past week, I have heard this same comment from different individuals. "All girls are like that"

Well, the topic was centered on shopping. People think that all girls love shopping and making themselves pretty with make-up and accessories (not only guys thinks so but the girls too!). Believe it or not, but I know some girls (woman mostly..haha) does not really like to shop or spend time beautifying themselves. Either they are lying to me or it is really true.

I guess I am like the majority of girls. I always say to AK "If I was single and have no financial commitments, I think I will spend most of my salary on clothes, shoes, handbags, facial products,...etc". His reply was "If I was single, I would be spending on my dream car, hi-fi system, gadgets,..etc". Wow..his total expenditure can cover my whole lifetime supply of clothes and shoes and handbags and............hahahaha.

I am the youngest among my siblings. And I do admit that among the three of us, I am the least responsible child due to the fact that I did not need to hold much responsibility when I was younger. My brother who is the eldest has always been the most sensible one among us. He makes decisions after giving it much thought. My sister always had been the one with her own opinions and is not afraid to follow them. And all I could think of when I was younger was how unfair the world is when my parents forces me to study…hahahaha. Hence, it is not a surprise that my brother and sister are much more sensible in making decisions. I really salute them for making so much effort in researching before they decide on implementing or decide on something. I am such a lazy person that I do not bother to do such thing. Lots of time, the both of them will do the research for me and I will just read the summary. It was even better if they came up with a solution for my problem :P

However when I decided to get a puppy, I did my own research for a month before deciding on what breed of dog would be suitable for me and my hubby. I continued researching on how to bring up DJ (my Mini Schnauzer) and what is acceptable and not. To me, it is an obvious decision to do these researches before getting a puppy. It is not like buying a PC or handphone, etc. You are actually buying a “life thing” which will be in your life for the next 10-15 years! Hence I thought it was normal for everyone to do what I did.

But it actually shocked me on how many people out there (same age as me or older) buys a dog without doing a single research. Many of them do not know that certain breed of dogs is not suitable for them. At times I get so angry when someone buys a dog not knowing what to do with it. They thought that everything could be trained but this is not 100% true. I get so angry till I say this “You not only have to research on which kind of dog is suitable for you. But you also have to think whether the dog will be happy in the environment you plan to bring him up in. Getting a dog just to please you is not the right thing. The dog deserves to be happy too”.

After this experience, I suddenly realized how irritating I may have been to my family…haha. I have always been the one that refuses to do any research. Well, hopefully from now on, I will make more sensible decisions..but no promises..:P

Chinese New Year came on 14th Feb 2010 and left us yesterday. It is not in a joyful tone when I say that this year was one of my most tiring CNY ever. As I grow older, CNY became less and less exciting to me. When I was younger, I would get all psyched up by the thought of CNY. It was not only because it was the school holidays and the collection of angpaws. It was also the thought of meeting up with my cousins on eve and first day of CNY, traveling for visits to relative and friends' houses, eating all those delicious cookies and home cooked food, etc. I recall playing with my cousins the whole night of CNY eve till about midnight before going home and waking up in the morning to see them again for our vegetarian breakfast. Running around all sweaty and playing with firecrackers was the highlight of the eve.

As I reached my teens, CNY was also quite exciting even though there were no more running around and playing with firecrackers. At this age, I look forward to meeting up with my cousins and friends for a good chitchat and lots of laughter. This was also the time I would get to see my brother and sister longer than I normally do and the family time I had with them were also precious.

And now I am all "grown up". A working woman means lesser holiday during CNY and hence lesser time with family and friends. A wife means I not only have my own family to think about but also obliged to think about my husbands' family. Cousins and friends have also begun their "new" lives with their husbands or wives and rarely have time to meet up anymore. This year I got to meet up with some of my cousins because my parents cancelled one of our out-of-state visits. The meet-up lasted only about an hour and they had to leave for family matters. Meeting up with friends have long been a history in my social life. New Year eve dinner is not as lively as it used to be. Vegetarian breakfast on the first day is even worse..too quiet.

CNY to me now is stressful and nothing else. How I wished that during the limited holidays I have, I can choose on what I want to do instead of needing to consider so many other factors around me. If I cannot have what I had when I was younger, then I would prefer to just stay home with my family and have a very good rest before I start with my hectic working life.

I usually just read these kind of "predictions" for fun...but I have a strong personal connection with this one and I have a strong feeling this will be my ultimate setback for 2010. Hope I can resolve my issues early of next year. Anyway, HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!!! :)

Year 2010 Overview
The symbol for Libra is Balance. In the next year, you'll find yourself doing even more balancing than usual; you're going to be pressed to decide if your internal sense of happiness should be the focus of life more than the outward signs of success. This may have been weighing heavily on your mind for the last several months, as far as work and the state of your love life. What you are likely to be weighing this year is a little more intangible (and a little more important) than those things. Specifically, in 2010 you'll find yourself weighing out the cost of the connections you've formed for yourself versus their actual value to you.

There's going to be a lot of pressure on you from within and without as to who you really are at heart and who you really are to those closest to you. This will be both in your personal life and at work. The natural Libra impulse is often to make peace with these kind of pressures, or negotiate your way around them. Your best bet in the next year though will be to recognize your own inherent value -- not just what you appear to be worth to others.

In the final analysis this is all good news, even if it's good news in disguise. No one is better than you at beautifying things or finding the inherent beauty in the mundane. Once you realize that you yourself are at least as shiny and pretty as any accessory -- in your heart and soul, where beauty really counts -- you'll have begun assembling a better You. Breathe through the difficult spots, and enjoy the results!

Source: http://shine.yahoo.com/astrology/libra/yearly-overview/20100101/

Recently I started listing down the invitees for my house warming coming New Year. As for my hubby and I, we agreed to have a small house warming and only invite those we are close to. However, it occurred to me I have not many close friends (the ones that I really keep in touch with). I have many friends, but not many close ones.

In my younger years, my family shifted around a lot (a total of 13 times for me!!). Therefore I never had any neighborhood friends or childhood friends. The first few years of my life was in one state, then 6 years in another then back to the first state. And now I am in another state because of work. This is just one of the reason. Another reason is (I am ashamed of admitting this) that I am one LAZY girl. Many of times I had friends inviting me for gatherings etc, but I do not want to go. I will give all kinds of excuses even though I know it would be fun. Deep down inside, I am afraid I would not have much to say at the gathering or I do not fit well with them or I do not dress right or..and the list goes on (I know, I know, I think too much). Because of me being a scare-dy cat most of the time, I loose out on being one of ANY of the "gang". But I am one lucky girl. I still have a few friends who never gave up on me :P. Some still calls me up for a chat or invite me to gatherings. Since I realised what kind of person I am previously, I will force myself to meet up with friends (sometimes it works and sometimes not..haha). After meeting up with them, I realised how much have I been missing.

Although at times I still go back to the old me, but now I will pull out the courage to invite my friends out instead. And usually things go very smoothly and all that I was worried about before never even appeared. I admit I am stupid in this sense but it is hard to shake of those feelings I had and still have in me.

Anyway, I would like to take this opportunity to thank those friends who never gave up on me even though I 'ffk' many times before. Don't give up on me and I will try my very best to change my ways :P

P/s Oh...and to my new friends, just ignore what you read here and just continue to be my friend..hahaha. I am trying to change, remember?? Give la chance...hehe