Hmmm...I wonder which personalities we fall into as parents :P

In this chapter, McCready looks into the parents’ behavior instead. She has a point when she said we all have the same thoughts about kids. We feel every kid is different and we need different approaches to deal with them. How about parents? Below is a short quiz to determine your personality which might later help you to focus on what to improve in in raising your kids.

Answer in A,B,C,D and do not take too long to answer each question. Whatever answer that pops into your head at that time, just note it down.

A: Most of the time
B: Often
C: Sometimes
D: Almost Never

1. I find I can do most tasks better than other people
2. I prefer to do tasks that involve significant contributions
3. I work hard, accomplishing much more than most people
4. I try my best in whatever I choose to do
5. It is very difficult for me to cope with failure
6. I try to be perfect
7. I usually know what is right or best
8. I deserve special treatment
9. I am always busy; I usually handle two or more projects at a time
10. I am determined to see my plans carried out, and get things done
11. I am a self-starter
12. I try to make sure things are done right
13. I don’t like to be “out of control”
14. I try to get others to do what should be done
15. I work best when I am boss
16. I try to protect others
17. I like to get praise from others
18. I try to gain approval from people who are important to me
19. I am sensitive to others’ opinion of me
20. I have difficulty saying no
21. I do things for others when I don’t want to, to avoid hurt feelings
22. I let others have their way even when I don’t agree
23. I don’t like to interrupt my kids or bother others to do tasks that I can do for them
24. I feel guilty when I say no to someone
25. I have difficulty getting around to getting things done
26. I don’t volunteer to take responsibility
27. I cannot handle stress
28. I dislike it when people have expectations of me
29. I do things to avoid dissention and conflict at home and work
30. I try to get other to slow down and be comfortable
31. I dislike being the boss for projects or activities
32. I feel that in several areas, I am somewhat inadequate

At the end of this quiz, give yourself marks for each answer. A = 4, B = 3, C = 2 & D =1

Then add the values for 1-8, 9-16, 17-24 & 25-32. Lets name these groups as Quadrant P, Q, R & S.

Choose the top two scores from these 4 quadrants. The highest scored quadrant will be your “Personality Priority” and the second highest scored quadrant will be your “Secondary Personality Priority”

Now, to define those quadrants;

P = Superiority
Q = Controlling
R = Pleasing
S = Comforting

Superiority:
You would find that most of the time, things come fairly easily to you and you often have high achievements. You are a model of confidence and success and demands for perfection and high expectations on yourself and others which sometimes can be unrealistic. In raising kids, these kind of parents will normally correct their kids often and may make their kids feel that they can never measure up to your expectations

Controlling:
In this personality, you will always feel the need to be in control and you like things done in a certain way. On a positive note, you are comfortable in making decisions and managing aspects of your work or family life. At work, you will most likely excel. However, in parenting, the need of control makes you act primarily from the ‘Parent Ego State’ and tend to order, direct and be a bit rigid. This invites power struggle with your kids.

Pleasing:
In this personality, you may be fun to be with and have a lot of friends. You like to keep people happy and try to avoid conflicts, often by saying yes when you mean no. In raising kids, you may find yourself reminding them a lot but may end up doing it on your own, giving in to their whining because you rather avoid confrontation. As a result, you may end up feeling resentful and ignored.

Comforting:
This probably means you are an easygoing parent. You go with the flow without many rules or limits. You will probably not follow routines and may be give more freedom to your kids.


So, which two quadrants you belong into? Do you think it best describes you?

I will reveal mine in Part 2 of Chapter 3 and also ways on how we can change our reactions using our personalities by just making small adjustments.