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This year has been a blur for me (especially second half of the year). Day in and out just feel like I am just surviving. Recently I even feel like I am a “dead” person because…

1.       I don’t feel like going to work

2.       I don’t feel like working

3.       I don’t feel like waking up in the morning to deal with the kids

4.       I sometimes don’t even feel like eating because of lack of appetite. I stuff myself with junk food to increase my appetite

5.       I look forward to leave my office but I don’t feel like fetching the kids from school

6.       I don’t feel like eating my dinner. Instead, I just feel like going into my bedroom and just lie on bed till I am hungry. Eat, bath, TV, sleep…

7.       I don’t feel like playing with the kids

8.       I don’t want to bath them. I just want to say good night to them and retire myself into my room…my quiet room

Doesn’t this sound like a “dead” person is living inside me?

I do try to enjoy my moments during the day but it is like the evil inside of me wins every single time and brings these feelings in me.

I won’t give up but I do hope I find an epiphany soon..before I turn fully dead inside. Perhaps I am just tired. Perhaps I need a huge change. I hope to find the solution soon.
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