Being a mother, my mind works so differently especially when it comes to my kid. Each step that I make, I have few different scenarios that play on my mind in just a few seconds before I make a decision. This is really crucial especially when handling a toddler with tantrums (or on the verge of showing his tantrum). And with this ‘ability’, a ‘curse’ comes with it. I expect others to think like me when handling Ayden.
At first I thought it was just common sense for them to think up all of the scenarios before acting on it until a close Aunt of mine told me this “Give them proper instructions and do not expect them to know every detail like you do. You might think they should know, but they really don’t”. That got me thinking about how many times I was disappointed with so many adults for not thinking first. To me it is just common sense. But to these people, they can’t think like me because the person they are handling is not their children.
I will try to improve on this but it ain’t easy especially when I am lack of time ‘educating’ others. But at least now if I get upset about something they did, I will feel guilty about it. For those who are wondering what I am talking about, here is an example:-
My dad was carrying Ayden. Ayden wants to go towards the kitchen which has already been barricaded with his safety gate (only we can open it for him). As it was already time to go to school and we have already let DJ in from the backyard, we do not want Ayden to get distracted in the kitchen area. So my dad tried to distract him with other stuff. AK opened the safety gate for DJ to roam while we get our office bags and car keys. My dad suddenly puts him down so that he can pass me an empty cup. And of course, my dear toddler will run towards the gate which was already opened. Story short, I was irritated. To me, it is like this…”Why the hell did you put down the kid who wanted to go the other side when you should be well aware the gate was opened and he would run towards it once he gets the opportunity?? Isn’t it obvious????”. After that, I thought it through…he might have thought that AK would have carried him or he did not notice the gate was open or…..well, you get the idea.
So, in conclusion, I should not expect others who are just helping me out to do exactly what I expect them to do. I have to have a lower expectation on them and remind myself they are there voluntarily to help me out and I should always try to ‘educate’ them by explaining how I like things to be. I should not also get mad when it does not go my way because I know deep down, they do not mean it.
Phew. Being a mum, a wife, a daughter & a daughter in law is pretty difficult. I think the easiest so far is becoming a sister because I have great understanding siblings : )
At first I thought it was just common sense for them to think up all of the scenarios before acting on it until a close Aunt of mine told me this “Give them proper instructions and do not expect them to know every detail like you do. You might think they should know, but they really don’t”. That got me thinking about how many times I was disappointed with so many adults for not thinking first. To me it is just common sense. But to these people, they can’t think like me because the person they are handling is not their children.
I will try to improve on this but it ain’t easy especially when I am lack of time ‘educating’ others. But at least now if I get upset about something they did, I will feel guilty about it. For those who are wondering what I am talking about, here is an example:-
My dad was carrying Ayden. Ayden wants to go towards the kitchen which has already been barricaded with his safety gate (only we can open it for him). As it was already time to go to school and we have already let DJ in from the backyard, we do not want Ayden to get distracted in the kitchen area. So my dad tried to distract him with other stuff. AK opened the safety gate for DJ to roam while we get our office bags and car keys. My dad suddenly puts him down so that he can pass me an empty cup. And of course, my dear toddler will run towards the gate which was already opened. Story short, I was irritated. To me, it is like this…”Why the hell did you put down the kid who wanted to go the other side when you should be well aware the gate was opened and he would run towards it once he gets the opportunity?? Isn’t it obvious????”. After that, I thought it through…he might have thought that AK would have carried him or he did not notice the gate was open or…..well, you get the idea.
So, in conclusion, I should not expect others who are just helping me out to do exactly what I expect them to do. I have to have a lower expectation on them and remind myself they are there voluntarily to help me out and I should always try to ‘educate’ them by explaining how I like things to be. I should not also get mad when it does not go my way because I know deep down, they do not mean it.
Phew. Being a mum, a wife, a daughter & a daughter in law is pretty difficult. I think the easiest so far is becoming a sister because I have great understanding siblings : )
